R-E-S-P-E-C-T What It Should Mean to You

“Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.” - Bruce Lee

In her book The Power of Respect: Benefit from the Most Forgotten Element of Success, Deborah Norville writes, “Nearly eight in ten Americans (79 percent) say a lack of respect and courtesy is a serious national problem, and most people say it’s getting worse (60 percent). Seventy-three percent say we used to treat one another with greater respect.” Needless to say, these statistics are truly frightening. Yet, however painful these numbers are, we must take a step back and question how this has come about. Perhaps, the solution is rooted not in how we treat one another, but how we view ourselves first and foremost.

School is predominantly identified as an institution of knowledge. More than anything else, stakeholders strive to present and promote their institutions as fountains of understanding beacons of information, and laboratories of advanced thought and reasoning. However, rarely do we see a school highlighting the character of their students as their claim to fame, certainly not in place of their scholastic acclaim. As a result, the thrust of a school’s efforts is visibly academic, a reality that students inevitably recognize and internalize. Thus, character development takes a back seat. As a result, our students deem their scores as a barometer of success. This, Dr. Carol Dweck explains, constitutes the fixed mindset as opposed to the growth mindset. Rather than encouraging healthy effort and fostering character growth through resilience where students can appreciate the process, they are focused on the results alone. In the event students cannot achieve the results they set for themselves - or the results they perceive others set for them - they incur a terrible sense of failure.

Dr. William Glasser, one of my great role models in the area of mental health (having earned certification as a Reality Therapist through his institute) says it best in his breakthrough book Schools Without Failure, “Regardless of how many failures a person has had in his past ... he will not succeed in general until he can in some way first experience success in one important part of his life.” If students do not feel success, they will not have any self-respect. Without self-respect, they cannot respect others. We must present our students with the means of success by fortifying their character, supporting their efforts as opposed to their test results, and supplying them with an environment that honors those who excel beyond academic knowledge.

“When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.” - Mark Twain

Improvement Movement

“If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.” - Pat Riley

People often view the opening weeks of a new school year as challenging. Aside from the normal hurdles one requires to overcome, it coincides with a host of Jewish holidays, commencing with Rosh Hashana, the New Year. Standing at the threshold of what we anticipate to be another successful year of academic and personal growth, we are met with the most inconsistent school schedules possible. Between Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Succos, it feels to many that the month of September is primarily spent in shul rather than school.

Perhaps the most encouraging moments during this time is the sounding of the shofar. Its fleeting, yet powerful sound is designed to resonate within our hearts and souls, awakening us to contemplate our deeds of the past year in self-reflection and sincere penitence. Yet, this past week granted me an even deeper understanding, one that brought incredible insight into this meaningful custom. While I am unfortunately not well-trained in blowing the shofar, I had no choice but to step into the role this year. Before the very first time attempted to blow the shofar, I prefaced it in front of tahe Middle School that they should not expect a promising performance. Thankfully enough, however, I managed to go a few days with relative success.

This past week, however, there was one particular day in which I simply could not produce a single sound. The moments passed, I continued with all my might, yet to no avail. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, I managed to sound the shofar properly. As I placed the shofar on a chair, I picked up the microphone, and shared the thought I had while trying to blow the shofar with the students.

“While I stood here trying to fulfill the custom of blowing the shofar, I was quickly reminded how we each have our strengths and weaknesses. Clearly, blowing the shofar is not a skill I possess. And that is just perfectly fine. It makes me think how I have to work on it. How I have to practice. This is the message I can learn in this month of Elul. I can use this moment to reflect on the areas I must still work on; the areas of weakness that I must focus more on this year. We can all use this as an opportunity to consider what we need to improve in preparation for Rosh Hashana.”

As the martial arts superstar, Tony Jaa, correctly asserted, "Never be afraid to fail. Failure is only a stepping stone to improvement." Failure is part of life, yet so is improvement. I was thankful for the chance to fail so that I could be reminded of yet another area I must improve in the days and months ahead, G-D willing. By embracing failure, we recognize our humanity, bringing us closer to a greater understanding and meaning in life. We must never be ashamed of our shortcomings, rather they should inspire and motivate us to continue growing.

What a powerful way to being the new school year in Middle School - by creating an improvement movement.

“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” - Vince Lombardi

A Culture of Leadership

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” - John C. Maxwell

As Jews, we always look to the Torah for guidance on all matters. If there is one particular area we learn extensively from, especially in the current Sefer Devorim, is the quality of leadership. Throughout the 40 years of Bnei Yisrael’s journey through the desert, Moshe Rabbeinu’s consistent and selfless demonstration of exemplary leadership serves as a model for all leaders to come. And although there are a myriad of words and actions one can learn to emulate, there is one distinct attribute that Moshe exhibited repeatedly that provides an especially valuable lesson for Middle School students, namely self-sacrifice for others.
In his incredibly accurate and perceptive book Shifting the Monkey, Todd Whitaker describes his impression of great leadership. “Instead of wondering, ‘How do I protect myself?’ a great leader asks, ‘How do I protect my good people? How do I make the world a better place?" Indeed, Moshe proposed personal loss multiple times in protection of the people he had been charged to lead. This trait requires humility more than anything else. It requires addressing the needs of others before our own, which can only occur when we think of others first.
In Middle School, a culture of caring must be cultivated from the top down. It must be stressed not only in our words, but also in our deed. Above all, selflessness must be modeled, not preached. As basketball legend and team leader Isiah Thomas once remarked, “It's hard to get people to overcome the thought that they have to take care of themselves first. It's hard to get players to give in to the group and become selfless as opposed to selfish.” Students must be viewed as a team. Students must view themselves as a team. And teams require leaders.
Our school’s tagline is “Inspiring tomorrow’s leaders.” It is our duty to promote this quality through humility, selflessness and sensitivity towards everyone. It is a team effort. The great 19th century industrialist Andrew Carnegie once said, “No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit for doing it.” Moshe deliberately declared that he could not lead the people alone. He had the assistance of 70 wise supervisors, as well as other greats, such as Aharon and Pinchas.
The catalysts for “Inspiring tomorrow’s leaders” are the inspiring leaders of today. Great leaders do not evolve, they are groomed. By being humble and selfless leaders, we elevate our students with these identical virtues. We must hear their concerns, listen to their ideas and inculcate a sense of team pride that is produced by altruistic leadership; leadership that shares a spirited sensation of glory that develops due to a collective effort.

“The role of a creative leader is not to have all the ideas; it's to create a culture where everyone can have ideas and feel that they're valued.” - Ken Robinson

Complementary Compliments

Complementary - "combining in such a way as to enhance or emphasize the qualities of each other or another" 
Complimentary - "expressing a compliment; praising or approving; given or supplied free of charge"

"I can live for two months on a good compliment." - Mark Twain
"The highest compliment that you can pay me is to say that I work hard every day." - Wayne Gretzky

Life in Middle School is hard work. Students arrive earlier and leave later, and somehow, recess time simply does not feel the same as it used to in Lower School. All these years students only had to remember two teachers’ names, but now all of a sudden, 6th graders now need to have an entire directory of names, classes and locations on file. And while lockers are wonderful, students wonder, "I'm supposed to fit everything into this?!"
Within a few weeks, this life-altering transition is over, and 6th graders become comfortably entrenched in Middle School life. There is, however, one component that we often associate with Lower School life that can never fade into early adolescence - that deep sense of self-pride and self-worth. While the academic rigor increases substantially, Middle School must retain the warmth and encouragement that is characterized by the earlier grades.
Unfortunately, Middle School tends to be a feeding ground for anxiety and uncertainty for many. With the increasing amount of responsibilities, multiplication of exams and due dates, and heightened consciousness of academic success, students can often feel inadequate or unsure of their skills and abilities. They quickly become nervous if they will get those coveted grades they believe everyone seeks. It becomes our responsibility, therefore, to not only assist students academically, but to demonstrate our support through compliments and positive reinforcement. The question is, though, which compliments to choose.
Dr. Carol Dweck in her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success writes, “'Did I win? Did I lose?' Those are the wrong questions. The correct question is: 'Did I make my best effort?' If so, he says, 'You may be outscored but you will never lose.'” It is remarkable how far students will thrive when they are driven by the pleasure of the process rather than the results alone. If we restrict compliments merely to those who earn the “A” at the end of a unit, we will have completely disregarded the efforts put forth by countless students. However, if we are committed to empower every student to feel a sense of success, we must utilize other forms of compliments along the way.
When we create an environment of appropriate compliments, we are essentially building a culture of complementary members. By highlighting the efforts of one another, we each grow and share the positive energy. In doing so, the Middle School will no longer be a narrow place of tests, report cards and responsibilities, rather an expansive home of fulfillment and self-appreciation.
Life in Middle School is hard work, but we should enjoy the challenge.

"You're not going to be great at everything. Surround yourself with people that can compliment you so you can work together and then everybody can be successful." - Jonathan Tisch

Here Comes the Sun

"The Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveler coming down the road, and the Sun said: “I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveler to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger. You begin.” So the Sun retired behind a cloud, and the Wind began to blow as hard as it could upon the traveler. But the harder he blew the more closely did the traveler wrap his cloak round him, till at last the Wind had to give up in despair. Then the Sun came out and shone in all his glory upon the traveler, who soon found it too hot to walk with his cloak on."
This ancient Greek fable perfectly portrays two distinctly different methods of interpersonal styles that people demonstrate in a wide range of scenarios. Whether at home, at work or at school, the Wind and Sun personify diametrically opposite approaches in the manner in which people attempt to achieve what they want. And while the Wind may even at times accomplish its goal, it certainly will not be actualized with warmth. Furthermore, it may produce a sense of animosity that will ultimately undermine the very objective it sought.
The lasting impression an educator has upon his/her students is truly priceless, and perhaps only secondary to one’s parents. In fact, a child’s future can often be set into motion due to a relationship with or statement made by a teacher. This unique power educators possess helps create the fate of students’ lives each and every day. In a Middle School environment in particular, where students deeply and infinitely thrive on positive, meaningful and inspirational relationships in their transition between the "little leagues" and the "majors," it is essential for educators to be fully cognizant in their choice of words and vigilant in their mode of conduct to be the Sun. Warmth and patience are indispensable tools that must always be employed.
The Mishna in Pirkei Avos teaches us that we must greet each person with a warm and joyous countenance. This is undoubtedly an imperative for this age. In the Middle School, we change lives with our smiles. With our encouragement and support, we make a timeless impression that will forever be etched into the memories and character of each student that we encounter.
“Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it’s all right. Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.”

What Drives Us

"I've always found that anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way and you've got to have that drive and determination to overcome those obstacles on route to whatever it is that you want to accomplish." - Chuck Norris

"That drive." What is that drive, and how to we strengthen that determination?

The beauty of the educational system is the fact that we work in teams. Within each school there are departments and curriculum groups, while even outside our particular school there are PLNs abound on virtually any topic and academic area. Elaine K. McEwan writes, it is a school leader's function "to help people appreciate the value of teamwork and recognize the power of collaboratively wrestling with issues related to teaching and learning." As a team, we support and energize one another each day. It is the team effort, among other components, that assists us in our drive. It is the team effort that compels and propels us further. Yet, with heightened demands in both time and effort, it has become exceedingly difficult to dedicate face-to-face opportunities for such collaboration.  

To resolve this dilemma, we require a different drive. Google Drive. As Tom Vander Ark commented at last week's keynote at The Moriah School, "I live in Google Drive." I second that sentiment. Most of my workload is managed through it. From sharing lesson plans and schedules to materials, meeting notes, and resources, we have the capacity of editing, viewing and commenting on texts until a collective product is produced. And while it may be best to meet in person, this tool makes the team process rather smooth and extremely efficient. Drive is truly a remarkably asset. 

As Chuck said, "you've got to have that Drive, and determination to overcome those obstacles on route to whatever it is that you want to accomplish." 
And this is how educators use Drive. It is truly fascinating what our students are doing with Drive!