Really on a Role

“I have to tell you, I'm proudest of my life off the court. There will always be great basketball players who bounce that little round ball, but my proudest moments are affecting people's lives, effecting change, being a role model in the community.” - Magic Johnson

During a recent lunch table discussion among teachers, the topic of role models in sports came up. The debate was on - are athletes role models or not? Should they be role models or not? By virtue of the fact that kids watch, admire and adore them, does that require them to become something they did not set out to be? The first athlete that clearly came to my mind was Charles Barkley, the NBA Hall of Fame star, who was quite outspoken about the issue. He claimed, “I’m not paid to be a role model; parents should be role models,” and, “Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.” While the point can be disputed, I believe that one thing is for certain - the role models our children choose for themselves must be positive ones.

But how do we achieve this? How are we assured that they will choose wisely?

In truth, our children have many role models. While some look up to athletes, there are also actors, music stars and other personalities within pop culture. Then you have historical or political figures, human rights activists, innovators and perhaps even the occasional religious icon. However, there is always a common denominator among children's role models - their parents. As parents, we form the bedrock of our children's reality, the foundation of their early aspirations and the core structure of their life-long values and beliefs. Our children's role models are predominantly selected based upon the values we embody and demonstrate in our lives as well as our own role models we choose to popularize, frequently speak about, admire and assign glory to.

Then there is school. From their earliest years, children have warm, caring and nurturing teachers that help set the tone for their learning profile. From Lower School through Middle School, strong relationships are formed, motivating students towards a concrete academic and emotional path while building memories that last for lifetimes. An endless stream of gratitude towards teachers have flooded websites, blogs and books, while libraries of unwritten volumes remain stored within the hearts of scores of people that attribute their success to perhaps even a single teacher.

It is time to merge the two worlds - the one within the home and the one within the school. In a world that often perpetuate criticism as sharp political commentaries fill the media, harsh personal sarcasm spreads throughout social media, and character defamation engulfs coffee rooms and dinner tables nationwide, our homes and schools must become beacons of positivity if we are to create the society we would all appreciate and enjoy being part of. Parents must support teachers, and teacher must support parents. School, homes and shuls must be united in a harmonious vision of personal integrity and moral values. In short, we must all become the role models we wish our children to emulate. We must calculate our actions and words to ensure that our children will learn the skills, emotions, principles and habits we want them to develop and master. While our children may or may not choose the role models we wish for them to adopt, one thing is for certain - we will always be front and center as their constant, life-long role models.

At the end of the day, we are all here to change lives, one child at a time. As my most beloved motto goes, “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world” (a quote attributed to Bill Wilson, Dr. Seuss and Taylor Hanson, to name a few).

One world at a time.

A Culture of Leadership

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” - John C. Maxwell

As Jews, we always look to the Torah for guidance on all matters. If there is one particular area we learn extensively from, especially in the current Sefer Devorim, is the quality of leadership. Throughout the 40 years of Bnei Yisrael’s journey through the desert, Moshe Rabbeinu’s consistent and selfless demonstration of exemplary leadership serves as a model for all leaders to come. And although there are a myriad of words and actions one can learn to emulate, there is one distinct attribute that Moshe exhibited repeatedly that provides an especially valuable lesson for Middle School students, namely self-sacrifice for others.
In his incredibly accurate and perceptive book Shifting the Monkey, Todd Whitaker describes his impression of great leadership. “Instead of wondering, ‘How do I protect myself?’ a great leader asks, ‘How do I protect my good people? How do I make the world a better place?" Indeed, Moshe proposed personal loss multiple times in protection of the people he had been charged to lead. This trait requires humility more than anything else. It requires addressing the needs of others before our own, which can only occur when we think of others first.
In Middle School, a culture of caring must be cultivated from the top down. It must be stressed not only in our words, but also in our deed. Above all, selflessness must be modeled, not preached. As basketball legend and team leader Isiah Thomas once remarked, “It's hard to get people to overcome the thought that they have to take care of themselves first. It's hard to get players to give in to the group and become selfless as opposed to selfish.” Students must be viewed as a team. Students must view themselves as a team. And teams require leaders.
Our school’s tagline is “Inspiring tomorrow’s leaders.” It is our duty to promote this quality through humility, selflessness and sensitivity towards everyone. It is a team effort. The great 19th century industrialist Andrew Carnegie once said, “No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit for doing it.” Moshe deliberately declared that he could not lead the people alone. He had the assistance of 70 wise supervisors, as well as other greats, such as Aharon and Pinchas.
The catalysts for “Inspiring tomorrow’s leaders” are the inspiring leaders of today. Great leaders do not evolve, they are groomed. By being humble and selfless leaders, we elevate our students with these identical virtues. We must hear their concerns, listen to their ideas and inculcate a sense of team pride that is produced by altruistic leadership; leadership that shares a spirited sensation of glory that develops due to a collective effort.

“The role of a creative leader is not to have all the ideas; it's to create a culture where everyone can have ideas and feel that they're valued.” - Ken Robinson