Friday, October 30, 2015

Don't Look Back (Parshas Vayeira)

"Success demands singleness of purpose.”  (Vince Lombardi)

In a most memorable turn of events, while the angels led Lot and family from the fiery furnace that was the city of Sodom amid destruction, Lot’s wife failed to follow the single condition her salvation rested upon - don’t turn back. The angels had commanded them that they mustn't turn to observe the utter annihilation of the infamous sin city. Rashi clarifies that although they warranted to be saved, in truth, it was due to the merit of their illustrious, righteous uncle, Avraham Avinu. Their own wicked deeds would have earned them the identical fate of their fellow townspeople. Therefore, to witness the city’s ruin, as if to suggest that they were above such judgment, was not justified. Seemingly, once Lot’s wife violated that command, it subconsciously implied that she did indeed feel worthy of viewing the destruction. As punishment, she turned into a pillar of salt, which was appropriately measured in line with her sinful past of not sharing with others.
Perhaps, there is an alternative message behind Rashi’s explanation, one that will certainly resonate with each of us. We can all relate to past mistakes. Throughout our lives, there have undoubtedly been times that we erred in our judgement, stumbled in our fulfillment of mitzvos and fell short in actualizing Hashem’s expectations of us. Nonetheless, in Hashem’s infinite mercy and boundless love for His children, He recognizes our limitations and urges us to overcome the hurdles in life. With His abundance of care and compassion, Hashem longs for our repentance and dearly yearn for us to return from any wrongful ways. He lifts us from the depths of sin and stands us on our feet once more.
To successfully conquer our weaknesses and repair our past, it is crucial to focus on the goals we seek to achieve.  We must remain focused on our destination, not the rocky road behind us. To remain fixated and preoccupied with our less than admirable past is far from a healthy path to recovery. Rather, we must shift gears, gain positive momentum and maintain a sense of confidence as we pave a decisively different path ahead.
Lot’s wife failed to understand this message that the angels attempted to relate. “You had a similar history to those around you, but you have ingrained potential due to your family ties that were severed. You can regain that connection once more so long as you look ahead. Should you look back - look back at your previous misdeeds - you will have made a decision to remain disconnected from your potential and remain forever woven with your past.” And alas, she forfeited the potentially glorious future and faced a death that mirrored her past.
It is often too easy to regress into our poor habits and live a life of complacency. However, the scenery along such a road will forever remain unfulfilling and with a potential latent. Alternatively, we can learn from the parsha not to turn around. Not to see the chain of destruction behind us, rather the possibilities of personal growth and spiritual satisfaction that awaits us up ahead.
“Now I see what I am is holding me down - I’ll turn it around.” See yourself in a brand new way and don’t look back.

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” (Thomas Paine)

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Wind of Change (Parshas Lech Licha)

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”  (Viktor E. Frankl)

Change is not an easy endeavor. Yet, according to many authorities, the first challenge Hashem presents to Avraham Avinu was just that - change everything. At the advanced age of 75, Avraham was told that his life until that point paled in comparison to the fulfilling years and meaningful life that awaited him. Commanded to leave his home, birthplace and family, Avraham was charged with life-altering task of upending everything. Why? Because Hashem told him so. Because Hashem explained that the change was necessary if he was to become truly great. 
It is quoted in the name of the saintly Rabbi Yisroel Salanter that, “it is easier to learn the entire Shas than to change one character trait.” While it is debatable to what degree he intended changing a trait meant, the message is nonetheless clear. Change is difficult. Change is powerful. Change is necessary. 
If we stop to think for a moment, change is everywhere. There are changes is season, temperature, surroundings and nature all around us. But changes run deeper still. From birth through our ultimate demise, we undergo countless changes - physically, physiologically, emotionally, cognitively, and the list goes on. There is not one moment in life when our thought patterns and experiences are remaining stagnant. Everything we see, hear and do has affects on us in ways that are often subconscious, but almost always, unfathomable. Like an ever-flowing river that is often calm yet other times raging, change has its stronger moments. Perhaps one the of the most noticeable, impactful and often strenuous, dramatic and trying stage of change in one's life is Middle School.  At this age, teens grapple with identity, struggle with peer pressure and sustain intense inner battles that manifest themselves in rapid and often sudden shifts in mood and temperament, anti-authoritative behaviors and seemingly unyielding questioning to every request and directive. However difficult and taxing these behaviors are, we, as parents and educators, must demonstrate unwavering patience and support. Ultimately, it is our loving support and encouragement that represents the single chance of our teens’ survival through this period. 
How did Avraham Avinu maintain his unfaltering faith in Hashem that provided the strength to embark on such a formidable life change? “Leave your land, and your birthplace, and your father’s home - to the land that I will show you.” Avraham Avinu’s Father promised to be there for him and show him the way. He would remain forever by his side, supporting him and directing him. If we are to see through our teens’ change successfully, they must be reassured that we are there throughout their journey. If they are to arrive at their own promised land, we must serve as their guiding, supportive light. The wind of change may turbulent, and it sure may not be a breeze, but rather than fight it, we can support the fresh air that it can bring in.

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” (George Bernard Shaw)